Oh my gosh… I just realized yesterday was 4 years since my friend’s kid/ my kid’s friend passed (RIP 3/30/10) and tomorrow it’s 7 years since RJ passed (RIP 4/1/07)… I never realized that they died within two days of each other. For some reason I never made that connection before, or maybe I did but can’t remember.
I started thinking how his mom was there for me when RJ passed and I was there for her when her son passed. We had our struggles and our friendship suffered for other reasons but we still have some contact. I don’t know if we will ever be as close as we once were. Maybe we were just meant to be there for each other during those hard years. I remember being out with her the night RJ died, and she and my cousin took me out to eat the next day, after we heard the news about RJ, and they had to hold my hair up as I hurled because I couldn’t keep anything down and help me walk. I remember meeting her and her son at Tutor Time when I was working there, and our kids became fast friends, and so did we. I remember girls nights with my friend and play dates with our kids… jumping on a trampoline in her back yard and the trampoline at Emily and Justin’s Christmas party with RJ. I remember how free and complete I felt with RJ – we were completely ourselves and one at once. I remember babysitting her son after pre-school and giving him dinner and playing games. The little mini bonfire-ish at Robbie’s. Hooters… I’ll never forget Hooters. There are so many memories… I am grateful to have all those memories.
So how ironic is it that I’m sitting here watching the very last episode on How I Met Your Mother, as they are strolling down memory lane… Yes, I need a box or two of Kleenex… and to find out the end… 6 years… really? I must be a Ted.
I’m thinking, maybe the fairy tale isn’t the perfect little dream. Maybe the fairy tale is messy and complicated and full of little bits of happiness and broken little pieces. Maybe the fairy tale is being just exactly where we are and spending a life collecting memories with some really awesome people to share those memories with.
“If I hadn’t gone through hell to get there, the lesson might not have been as clear… Right from the moment I met your mom, I knew, I have to love this woman as much as I can for as long as I can and I can never stop loving her not even for a second. I carried that lesson with me through every stupid fight we ever had, every 5am Christmas morning, every sleepy Sunday afternoon, through every speed bump, every pang of jealousy or boredom, or uncertainty that came out way. I carried that lesson with me. And I carried it when she got sick. Even then, in what can only be called the worst of times, all I could do was thank God, thank every God there is or ever was, or ever will be, and the whole universe, and anyone else I could possibly thank that when I saw that beautiful girl on that train platform, that I had the guts to walk over, tap her on the shoulder, open my mouth and speak.”
RIP RJ <3