Monthly Archives: March 2016

Just Let Go – Sturgill Simpson

Just Let Go – Sturgill Simpson

Woke up today and decided to kill my ego
It aint ever done me no good no how
Gonna break through and blast off to the Bardo
In them flowers of light far away from the here and now

Taking a 49 divine day vacation
From reality and all else in between
Gonna transmigrate to my destination
Far beyond time in an eternal dream

But am I dreaming or am I dying
Either way I don’t mind at all
It feels so good you just can’t help but crying
You have to let go so the soul can fall

Oh my God it’s so beautiful
Everything is a part of me
It’s so hard looking through all the lies made of wool
But if you close your eyes it becomes so easy to see

 

 

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Nine Years

In less than a week, it will be 9 years since you moved on. So much has happened in those nine years, but still you live within my soul. Never have I ever met someone so full of unconditional love and warmth and kindness and compassion. I’ve had people tell me that my loss of you doesn’t “count”, after all, we only knew each other for five months and we never walked down the aisle. We didn’t have the privilege of 20 or 30 or 40 years of marriage. What we had was incredible though.

You loved me.

Before I met you, I dreamed of you. It was like I was missing a piece of myself and I had to find it. When you walked through the doors of the Marina, I knew it was you that I was missing. We were one person living in two bodies. Finding you was like I had been drowning… suffocating… gasping for air… and you came along, pulled me close and you were my oxygen.

You saved me.

You were and still are the one person who took a good look at me, saw my insides… all my darkness and all my light… and you just loved me. Your love gave me strength. You love gave me hope. Your love filled every piece of me that once felt empty and alone. Your love allowed me to be completely free and with that I always was drawn right to you. I couldn’t help myself. I didn’t have a choice but to love you with every inch of my being. For you, I would have given my life. Instead, you gave me yours.

You live within me.

When others beat me with my darkness, you reminded me of my light. When I struggled to get through my storms, you were my shelter. When I felt broken and deficient, you made me feel exceptional.

You saw me.

As much as I was broken when you died, I would go through all the pain and heartache to feel as completely alive and whole as I did when I had you. If I never find love like that again, I will be forever grateful to have held you in my arms for that flicker of time that is now so distant. I will never forget the life you breathed into me and how free you allowed me to be. It’s the most loved I have ever felt. Thank you for that. Thank you for letting me be exactly who I am. Thank you for loving me as much as you did, the way you did.

You freed me.

 

I will forever love you RJ Rady. <3

Flaws – Vancouver Sleep Clinic

 

The weight, I’m gone
In my skin, I’m lost
Tangled in the bones of this love
Melding to the flow of your blood

Grace bestowed
But I was shaped with snow
Seasons don’t change
Ignorance remains

I need this alone

The burdens on this chest
The vessel of these words
Sinking under tension
Drew afterthoughts and hurt

 

 

Blood Bank – Bon Iver

Blood Bank – Bon Iver

Well, I met you at the blood bank
We were looking at the bags
Wondering if any of the colors
Matched any of the names we knew on the tags

You said, “See look at it: that’s yours
Stacked on top with your brother’s.
See how they resemble one another’s
Even in their plastic little covers.”

And I said, “I know it well.
That secret that you know that you don’t know how to tell
It fucks with your honor and it teases your head
But you know that it’s good, girl
‘Cause it’s running you with red.”

Then the snow started falling
We were stuck out in your car
You were rubbing both my hands
Chewing on a candy bar

You said, “Ain’t this just like the present
To be showing up like this?
As the moon waned to crescent
We started to kiss

And I said, “I know it well.
That secret that we know that we don’t know how to tell
I’m in love with your honor, I’m in love with your cheeks
What’s that noise up the stairs, babe?
Is that Christmas morning creaks?”

And I know it well, I know it well
And I know it well, I know it well
And I know it well, I know it well
And I know it well, I know it well

 

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The Free Spirit

Some of us are not meant to live in cages. Some of us are meant to run wild and free. We are envied by those who wish to possess the same feeling of freedom and joy and gratitude and peace, and they may try to take it from us like leaches sucking the blood out of our skin, but that is not how it works. Because they don’t understand us, they will try to bottle us up, keep us restrained, constricted, unable to roam free. By doing so, they drown us, pulling us under the water like anchors, desperately trying to force us into their ideas of “perfection” rather than allow us to be the thing of beauty that we are. What they fail to see is that they cannot steal the spirit from us… and even if they hold us for a while… we will again be free.